Growing up, I assumed I’d get married and have children. As I’ve progressed through my 20s, though, my attitude towards marriage is more of ambivalence and genuine disinclination than desire. On the other hand, my desire to be a mom has been unwavering.
While I would love to share the experience of raising a child, I haven’t yet found a compatible partner to share my life with and I don’t know when that will happen. I also don’t want to get married just for the sake of having a kid; it wouldn’t be the right decision for me or my child and in many ways I feel I would be robbing him/her of something special.
And so, after a year of researching the choice mom movement and working to reach a healthy place in my recovery, I have made the conscious and deliberate decision to parent on my own via donor insemination.
The motivation behind this decision has nothing to do with the ticking biological clock so many women talk about (I am only 28, after all) nor does it have anything to do with believing there isn’t a compatible partner out there for me (I have faith there is and hopefully one day I’ll meet him).
What my choice to be a mom does have everything to do with is LOVE.
To be able to bring a child into this world and wrap my arms around them fills my heart with so much joy and peace. I am ready emotionally, spiritually, and financially to do this and I don’t want to wait.
I am aware that being a single mom is not easy. You are everything all of the time and not having someone there to co-parent will be overwhelming and hard. I know this. But the one thing every single parent out there has told me is that it is all worth it.
Over the last week, I’ve been able to share my decision with several family members and close friends after getting the go-ahead from my psychiatrist. While I prepared myself for both positive and negative reactions, I am thankful they have all shown me unconditional support and are genuinely excited for me.
My first consultation visit with the fertility specialist is in two weeks and in 4-6 months I will undergo my first insemination. I know this journey will be an emotional and sometimes challenging one, but knowing I am not alone means the world to me.
I am so blessed!